What Ladies Like, and What They Don't Really Care For

         So I know that you are all expecting a really great composition piece on how to find a dream chick in ten days or something. So get used to disappointments. What I can teach you is how not to get a girl, or how to offend one in a very short time.

         The first thing you need to understand before reading this blog is that it is meant to be in jest, and that you should not actually attempt anything mentioned within for fear of creating a very awkward situation with someone you might actually have feelings for. The only time you can take what I say for serious is if it is underlined in bold. This means I'm serious.

        So on to insulting women and how to scare them off really fast. One thing to keep in mind is this: if you can show your worst side to a girl and she still sticks with you, hey, you got something man, send me her digits if you can! The other thing is that there are only so many girls that you can offend before it gets really boring and somewhat monotonous. The key to getting inside a girl's head is figuring out what they like best about themselves. That and what they hate the most about themselves. Nice one-liners that often work well are the following: "Wow, you're fat!", "Did someone catch your hair on fire or does it just look like that?", "Your eyes are the color of puke I think, or from what I can gather from the small glimpses under your baggy eyelids." These can almost always guarantee a reaction from women, and you might even get to enjoy some physical contact in the form of a fist or a foot. Well that is all for now, you can try out these latest ideas on a complete stranger, or better yet, send me your lines/dilemmas and I'll see what I can recommend you for a good sucker punch to the emotions.